Are You Committing Financial Infidelity?
Valentine's Day is a time for romance but how many couples are hiding a secret? A recent survey conducted by Harris Interactive of more than 2,000 adults reported than nearly three in 10 adults admit to lying to their spouses about money. Among the indiscretions:
- 58% admitted to hiding cash
- 54% didn't tell about a minor purchase
- 30% hid a bill
- 16% didn't confess about a major purchase
- 15% had a secret bank account
- 11% lied about debt
- 11% didn't tell the truth about what they earned
Barbara J. Stark, Director of Education and Community Development for American Debt Counseling, believes such behavior is usually passed down from generation to generation. "My mother always told me to tell my father that purchases were half off the original price," Stark recalls. "People justify their behavior a variety of ways, from wanting to avoid a hassle or argument over money to rationalizing the other person just doesn't understand today's prices or feeling, as a responsible adult, that there is no reason they have to answer to anyone about the money they spend."
Of the adults who took part in the study above, 16% said they became divorced over the dishonesty and another 11% became separated.
Aside from the moral issues, Stark believes a little bit of financial infidelity isn't a big issue as long it does not put your finances or relationship in peril. Here are her warning signs for when it may be a problem:
- Are your secret purchases blowing the household budget?
- Are you accumulating debt you can't pay off?
- Is your secret debt growing and not shrinking each month?
- Are you borrowing from one credit card to pay another?
- Are you constantly worried your partner will find out?
For those who are getting in over their heads and are afraid to come clean, Stark recommends seeking out a certified credit counselor like the ones at American Debt Counseling. "It's completely confidential and free. They can help you get back on sound financial footing and could possibly save your relationship as well!"
